Back In Business In a Big Way

Site Up -- AoW DOWN

Once again, masters of disasters Legacy of Steel and our good friends Shock of Swords bring you the Avatar of War, face down and dead as dead gets.  This was in essence a "pick-up" AoW raid.  On previous attempts, SoS and LoS planned the dates and times carefully for our AoW assassinations.  Tonight we finished up our raiding early and caught wind that the Statue (which we were told was killed the night before) was in fact up.  So we head to Kael and I send Durck a tell, Come kill AoW.  Durck responds, NOW?  A short while later we're taking screenshots and enjoying our AoW phat l3wtz.  What can I say, this is the fourth AoW we've killed now and it still feels damned good to see him drop each time -- that magic of killing something that can easily wipe you out cannot be beat in EQ.

Sooooooooo our fucking website. . .don't even ask me what the problem is.  All I know is welcome to the new home of Legacy of Steel.  So much has happened that this update is going to be a big fucking mess of old and useless information.  Before I get too deep into it, I must post the most CLASSIC picture you will see.  There is only one title that suits the picture you are about to lay your eyes upon and that title was coined by none other than Homer Simpson himself, "DOH!"

DOH!

In case you were wondering, we killed him and were able to loot two Horns and a pair of boots.  The boots and one horn made it back after the patch -- one horn and the head were however lost forever in the world of Poof!  Poof -- something SoL has acquainted us with rather nicely.

Speaking of SoL we have been having some entirely shitty luck with random poofs, shitty drops and all sorts of bugs and what not.  Still, we're having fun and ripping shit up.  Well, actually, this guy destroyed us tonight:

Dual wielding mo faka is just a prison rapist -- we died and he had NO red left in his hp bar -- gg us fux up.  Oh don't worry, we have killed Mr. Exiled just fine. . .

But we only prefer to kill him when we get shitty Monk only (Beastmaster who?) loot which rots on the ground and pisses off suck EC Tunnel twink monks.

Of course this being Everquest, there is the necessary farming to do.  God knows I can't sleep until I have 234905832405 AC and 2345789235 HP.

So I am supposed to be ranting about some SoL stuff but the truth is I am still pumped from that AoW kill and I am fucking-A tired right now.  Well wait, I can rant a little bit.  Ok how should we start this one.  I know let's talk about Verant and maximizing the time of their expansion.  Let's face it, VI needs this expansion to last a good long while.  So what do they do?  They add keys to get to uber mobs, thus slowing down the *discovery* of Luclin.  That I can understand.  In fact I like that notion.  It seperated the men from the boys in Kunark with VP keys, and likewise proved who had their shit together in SoV with Sleepers.  But in Luclin it seems, rather than having keys drop off of HARD mobs (a.k.a. EARNING your key to the next step), keys seem to be RARE drops off of RARE spawns -- thereby rewarding the Lucky and Unemployed.  Now to add to this retarded idea of RARE drops (rather than drops off of HARD mobs) you have all you gimps out there who decided to passover the necessary *key* step to get to uber mobs and you fuckers exploited the doors.  Well congrats on your awesome EQ FIRST, dumbasses, and as a result of your ub3r l33tn3ss Mages get a big phat dick in the ass nerf of CoH.  And when CoH gets nerfed is it just the mages that get punished? Oh no, it's everyone.  Stuck in traffic on the way home to a raid?  Tough shit -- not there on time, you're fucked.  Good fucking going exploiting dumbasses and good fucking going Verant for not having half a clue that if you put locked doors in people are gonna get past them.  Here's an idea VI -- rather than nerf mages, how bout you go check on who's killing mobs behind locked doors -- look at their loot -- then see who has key.  No key?  Conquest their ass.  Don't fuck the rest of us over because some lazy gimps can sploit a door.  And for crying out loud, put keys on HARD mobs -- not rare drops on rare spawns.  Are you looking to reward the skilled players or the lucky and unemployed?

Speaking of bullshit, no fun keys, we did Griegs the other day.  Wow, that zone can suck a phat cack.  Rhap sums it up best:

The novelty of Grieg's wears off in about 2 minutes.  Add to that I dragged 30 people there to kill some raid mobs, and we get the big phat shaft on the key there as well. Weeeeeeee so much fun.  Maybe I am a tad bitter because the day before we were doing the AC ring and had the 5th and 6th boss both spawn us at once -- that was fun.  After wiping out to that, we started the ring again, kill the 4th boss and POOF! Script over!  Weeeeeeeeeeeee.  SoL beta testing at its best.  Oh, I mentioned Grieg -- forgot to tell you we managed to get him to spawn in Ssrae -- I think it's part of some larger SoL Quest:

Later, I saw Grieg in AC so I guilded him:

Other than that we've all been working on AA skills.  Metabolism and Charisma are the guild standard priorities.  And if you're really bored in your exp group, pull Mr. Rumble:

That was fun for some laughs.  No, killing Rumblecrush is not much a feat in the world of EQ but doing it with your exp group is fun and by posting this here I just saved 2000 people from having to read some Numbnut's "RUMBLECRUSH DOWN!" post on the Nameless Tavern.

Goddamn I am tired.  I go sleep now.

Feign Death of the Day

Stalkers, Wanna-be's and Unoriginal Bastards

Ok, I ignored about 90 percent of you the past week. . .but some made it

Quotes of the Day

Happy New Years, Lovers!

Picture by Dada Artist

Finally an update!!!  Apologies for the little vacation there -- it wasn't by design.  All of my web programs decided to stop working at the same exact moment.  You gotta love installing a bunch of 30 day trial programs all on the same day.  Yes, I am a cheap bastard but oh-fuggin-well.

Many things have died since the last update, some old, some new.  We recently killed this guy again:

The Glyphed goes down and we go to pull the Exiled.  Well, guess what?  We found yet another "poof" spot in Ssrae.  I now know of half a dozen places where you can "poof" mobs in that zone, as well as one area that involves a nasty warping bug (bug not feature) and another area where you can get summoned for 10k damage.  If someone from VI Quality Assurance is bored and wants to take a short break from watching Days of our Lives some day, please log onto The Nameless and come to Sssrae with me -- I'd be happy to show you some things which could most likely be easily fixed.  Perhaps you'll even come with some urgency if I mention the fact that the "poof" spots can be used to exploit errant trains.  OMG a bug that works in favor of players????? <SYSTEMWIDE MESSAGE> time. . . .

All kidding aside, I love that zone. It's really one of the best done zones in the expansion.  I actually like the fact that common loot was left out for the most part -- keeps the gimp factor low there.  I just hope they fix some of the bugs.  And for the record, the worst zone in SoL is AR -- what a piece of shit.  Note to the guy who came up with the l33t traps:  Less is more, homie.

Things have been rather slow the past week.  We're lucky to have 30 people on even at primetime.  This is also that funny time after an expansion where everyone either quits EQ or else makes their big return.  My favorite are always the people who left a few months ago with the big, long, jaded goodbye posts.  They'll post how much EQ sucks and take cheap shots at people and pat themselves on the back for how strong they are to be quitting EQ for good.  Anyway, we all quit EQ at some point -- some of us just realize it's best not to burn a bridge until you cross it first :p

Luckily after two years of playing EQ I know better than to pay attention to retirement threads on messageboards.  And the upside is, many very cool people have returned to fill the spots of the many cool people who have left who will be returning around the time when the many cool people who have recently returned decide to quit again.

So maybe I am just a bit touchy right now because it is New Years Eve.  The problem is I live in Pasadena where, since the dawn of time (or so the Tournament of Roses Association would have you think) the Rose Parade and Rose Bowl take place.  To most, these events are part of American Tradition.  To me, it's a big phat pain in my ass.  All these piss drunk cacksuggers flock to the streets, park in every goddamn spot in existence, crowd the stores and generally go out of their way to make me miserable.  Looking out the window I see a touch of grey in the sky.  God I hope it rains down a river on those motherfuckers.

I think my true hatred for the Tournament of Roses and for all these assholes in MY streets has something to do with New Years Eve 1995. . .the dawn of 1996.  Unfortunately, I am a big fan of USC football.  I say unfortunately because I never got to experience the glory days of Charles White, Marcus Allen, or the numero uno pimp mackdaddy tailback and cold-blooded killer, O.J. "The Juice" Simpson.  No my experience with USC football has been loss after loss, season after season of defeat, and too many coaches to remember.  So 1995 rolls around and we end up with Keyshawn who for those of you who don't know or care was basically Jesus for the USC football team that year.  Amazingly, somehow. . . .perhaps the planets were alligned right. . .perhaps the rest of the Pac 10 just sucked that much harder. . .USC goes to the Rosebowl to face Northwestern.

So being a USC football fan and living in Pasadena it's basically a given that you go to the Rosebowl on New Years Day.  But there is New Years Eve to contend with first.  My friend, let's call him. . .um. . .Nigel.  My friend Nigel comes into town to go out and party then watch the game the next day.  After a bottle of tequilla and a case of beer are left behind we get the brilliant idea to walk the 2 blocks to Colorado Boulevard to see all the freaks camping out for the Parade the next day.  The whole scene is weird.  First off, there are these guys from the Tournament of Roses Associations who are like Marshalls or some shit for the Parade.  Well, these dudes walk around in WHITE suits.  They ride around on scooters and carry walkie-talkies.  They are like Hitler's gay Gestapo.  I don't know about you but I don't trust any guy wearing all white unless he's selling ice cream or dragging some nut into the looney bin.  Anyway, Hitler's gay Gestapo is patrolling the streets along with Pasadena PD and about a million drunken assholes, all of them seemingly Northwestern fans.

Well, being drunk and completely unreasonable Nigel and decide that all of these Northwestern fans need to be showed up.  See USC fans don't rush to the streets and sleep out like trailer trash when their team makes it to the big game.  Luckily, Nigel and I were there to represent the side of USC that USC rarely cares to admit exists -- the drunken, shit-for-brains, low class side.  Hey, it's a rough job but someone's gotta do it.  Nigel and I go back to my apartment and get some more liquor.  While we're there we find this giant Trojan Horse staff.  Don't ask why or how someone has a goddamn staff with a horse's head on it, but shit, I had one that year and the next thing I know Nigel and I are back out on the streets leading a parade of USC fans past all of these Northwestern stiffs.

Words are exchanged.  Most of them friendly jabs.  But then our good friend, the booze, decides to take charge of the scene.  We get to the end of the parade route, crashed 3 backdoor parties, were kicked out of 3 backdoor parties and finally find ourselves a block from where I lived at the time.  I am carrying the staff down by my side and Nigel is walking with me.  A car drives by and we could clearly hear the words, "USC sucks" yelled out the window.  Without much thought or hesitation I replied with the simplest, easiest thing that came into my mind at the moment which of course was, "Pull over you pussies and I'll beat you down harder than I beat your mother last night."

Boy was I surprised when the brake lights came on.  The car skids to a stop alongside the curb and three of the biggest motherfuckers I've ever seen jump out of the car.  The smallest of the three was still a few inches taller than me and easily had 30 pounds on me.  The biggest of the three could get a job working in Hollywood as a giant.  At this point I am in that slow-motion mode that comes with being severely intoxicated or in moments of traumatic shock (i.e. near death experiences) or, in my case, a combination of the two.  Nigel's first and only words were, "Give me the stick."  Huh?  What the fuck is Nigel talking about, my slow mind wonders.  "GIVE ME THE STICK!"  His urgency made me realize he wanted the Trojan Horse Staff I was holding limply at my side.  This didn't seem like a good time for cheerleading but what the hell, I thought to myself and tossed Nigel the staff.

Nigel, who is in fact shorter than I am, grabs the Trojan Horse staff like a Louisville Slugger and takes a Babe Ruth wind up at the three EXTREMELY large motherfuckers running right for us.  As if in slow motion, I watch Nigel swing the staff baseball-bat-syle right into the largest guy's chest.  The Trojan Horse head breaks off the staff and falls to the ground.  At this point, I'd love to be able to relate moment by moment what happened next, building up the dramatic tension of the coveted fight scene I just worked so hard to set up but in truth what happened next is this:  The shortest of the three laid a right jab into the side of my head and instantly knocked me out.

Cue Chris Tucker from Friday:  "You got knocked the fuck out!"

The beautiful thing about being knocked clean unconcious is that you have no idea when you come to if you've been out for 10 seconds or 10 hours.  In fact you don't much besides the fact that your ear and the side of your head hurts REALLY bad.  So I find myself laying in a bed of flowers.  And there really was something rather peaceful about being there because after all I live in a city and it's not often I find myself lying in beds of flowers.  Looking back now, some six years later, I realize that the very bed of flowers I was laying in was probably a veritable bed of dog piss and god knows what but at the time, it seemed like a very "nice" place to be.  "Nice" is a relative term especially considering when the alternative to lying in the bed of flowers was standing and getting knocked out again.

But being the tough guy that I am, the killer, death on two legs, I stand up and try to figure out what's going on.  My buddy, Nigel, is in a head lock getting punched.  The whole while he is muttering things like, "You beat me.  I'm a pussy.  You guys win.  We're done."  Amazingly, be it the holiday spirit or perhaps the fact that we offered as much challenge as a couple of old ladies, these corn-fed mo faka's let me and Nigel go with no further beating.

So the one fight I've been in throughout my adult life goes by, I never get to throw one punch and I get knocked-the-fuck-out within the first 15 seconds of it.  We sure showed those assholes who was boss.  Is there a point to this story?  Well, no not really.  This story exists so that you might all be able to understand why I hold the hatred I do for all these cacksuggers invading my town for New Years.  Perhaps if they were all 5'3" and weighed 100 pounds I wouldn't mind. . .I could go around enforcing my bad-ass ways and show these assholes who the King is.  But I'm stuck at 5'10", 145 pounds and the sons of bitches outside can mostly put a hurting on me by looking at me too hard.  Did I mention I am going out of town tonight?

What's any of this got to do with Everquest?  Nothing. . .

. . .and getting back to EQ. . many new sections.  I was trying to think of a good title for the next one but instead I only came up with:

Tork the Gay Bard

speaking of Tork. . .

Life in the AE Group

The Wonderful World of Rhap

Random Picture of the Day

Mudcrush Stalker -- click for pic (190k)

Stalkers, Wanna-be's and Unoriginal Bastards

Quotes of the Day

/comfort AE group. . .

But seriously, like you fools thought that was gonna last for more than a few days.  I have to admit, it was nice having someplace to bring errant trains though.  I salute you AE group.  You shall be missed.

Moving on to other things. . . we found this guy and promptly waxed him today:

Really cool looking mob. . .

. . .even better dead.

All you psychos keep logging on, asking me to post loot.  WTF this isn't Afterlife or FOH here. . .you homies know I post loot.  Lemme be the first to tell you, there aint jack and shit worth posting so far.  Here's what the Thought Horror Whatever dropped. . .

Wow Flowing Thought! Guess what, FT sucks a phat cack

I must say i have REALLY been enjoying Luclin.  A bunch of us in the guild are up to some top-secret Tom Foolery that I cannot quite divulge yet.  Needless to say, everytime I log in I have been having a blast.  Ultimately the goal for me is to find some HARD, decent uber mobs for us to be killing.  Yeah, we could farm Vulak and Kael till we're blue in the face but rather than play keeping up with the Jones's we'd rather be the Jones's to be kept up with.  Oh on a side note, since I mentioned poosae Vulak and that makes me think of Vyemm, I just had to post this Vyemm loot. . .I think our one and only decent complete Vyemm loot ever, in all the times we've killed him:

So excuse me if updates slow down for a bit.  We're in seek and destroy mode while other guilds go into farm and farm some more mode.  It's fun finding new stuff.  Yeah, well, we'll farm shit too. . .this is EQ right?

Who you calling Pussy?

Dada's Art

This is long overdue.  Perhaps Dada's finest masterpiece to date:

Horse Petition of the Day

The Wonderful World of Rhap

Picture of the Day

Korzik smokes a bowl

Stalkers, Wanna-be's and Unoriginal Bastards

Quotes of the Day