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Tonight's Update is Sponsored by the Letter F . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Tuesday, February 20, 2001 --  tigole

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F Gorenaire

We were bored, something had to die. . .

Spent the majority of the evening in Temple of Veeshan.  Many of you might not know this but there is a big change coming to ToV in the upcoming patch.  Yes, I have some insider info I am going to share.  The Temple of Veeshan is going to have it's name officially changed to the Temple of Shit Sandwich.  I am a l33t hax0r and I intercepted a Verant Interoffice Email.  At the risk of having my account terminally banned, I will now share with you the proposed names for the Temple of Veeshan change coming in Wednesday's patch.

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Official Verant Correspondence

To Brad:

Brad, was taking bong rips and huffing spray paint when I realized we left the working title in the game for that zone in Western Wastes.  We left it known as the Temple of Veeshan.  Anyway, figured this Wednesday's patch would be as good a time as any to fix it to the "real" name.  Here's some that me and the guys came up this morning.  P.S. Thanks for the HGS last night, and oh yes, you're order of crack is in, let me know when you want to pick it up.

10. Temple of Lag

9. Temple of Quality Assurance is Overrated

8. Temple of I-sniffed-too-much-glue-when-I-made-this-zone

7. Temple of Linkdeath

6. Temple of Where-Did-That-Mob-Just-Warp-To?

5. Temple of How-Did-This-Get-Agro?

4. Temple of the Golden Void of Loot

3. Temple of the Hole Ain't So Bad After All

2. Temple of OOM From Buffing. . .Again

1. Temple of Shit Sandwich 

Epic Wizard!

First off, congratulations to Magosian on completing his Wizard Epic Weapon.  No more begging for Kedge or Fear Raids, Mago.  I think the whole guild is breathing a sigh of relief.  Oh wait, we have a lot more wizards. . jeje.  Anyway, Mago worked his ass off to get that weap and it was great when CT finally dropped the skin so that he could finish it.

Zland just doesn't die in front page-friendly poses. . .sigh

In other news. . . .we keeeled Zlandicar again today.  Love fighting that mo faka.  Still fun each time.  People been bitching in our forums that "all we do is keel Zlandicar."  Well first and foremost, go fuck yourself, we don't care.  Then secondly, do you think Sleeper's Keys just magically appear in your inventory?  Not to mention the other loot is pretty damned nice.  Today Valmoon got a Cowl of Mortality, Despie the Slut Ho got Zlandicar's Heart, Medicd was awarded Frakadar's Talisman to complete the cloak/robe quest, and Meggan was awarded the Zlandicar Talisman.  We also got some Gloves.

After Zland, we took a rag tag group into Kael and secured another Shield of Ownage for Necrath.  Orb of the Whatever. . .Orb of the Other-Gimps-Sploit-to-Get-Em-But-We-Use-Good-Ol-Fashioned-Asskicking-to-get-Ours. . .or some name like that.  Quit your bitching and give me haste and clarity bitch.  I'm sure you're a charming fellow.  Loose lip sink ships. . .I think that's how the old axiom goes.

Don't mind me. . .I've been drinking the Old Grandad.  It's President's Day after all.  So we've got a patch coming up.  My money is on the Donal's and Evade nerfs.  Not exactly psyched for either of those.  Of course, they COULD add loot to ToV, they COULD tune mobs according to the nerfs. . .but I seriously doubt they will.  Mostly, I hope they fix the broken /target Tigole function.  Is it me? Or is it halflings. . .or rogues. . .I mean, WTF?  No one can target me. . .I am broken.  And no I'm not hidden or sneaking.  I should STFU before I get nerfed.

Stalkers, Wanna-be's and Unoriginal Bastards

Quote of the Day

Derakor the Vindicator Slain!

Ladies and Gentleman, what a night it was.  Those Mo Faka Giants, you know the ones, those tall sons of bitches we're all supposed to be friends with.  Well, some of us remember killing crocodiles in Oasis at level 14 and getting creamed by Sand Giants.  You don't forget that shit.  Oh sweet I have 8 plat, a Fine Steel Rapier, some banded armor. . .I am fuggin l33t. . .whoops, SQUASH.  To put it bluntly, fuck giants.  Fuck giants in the Giant Goat Ass.  So, if you're looking to kill some mo faka giants, what better giant to kill then Derakor.  Fun part about Mr. V-v-v-v-vindaction is that he has two *companions* that like to come with him wherever he goes.  The pets were a nerf. . .err. . .I mean *feature* that was added after the first couple of times he was killed.  All I can say to Verant is, Bring it bitch.  Oh, VI, while you're busy nerfing the Donal's BP's. . .you might want to doublecheck to make sure you don't miss our *one* BP.  I point this out because Orby, our proud Donal's owner, was LD most of the fight.

Ok. . .now I should calm down a bit and report the loot.  First item up for bid is. . . . .

Darvulia owns you

Speaking of ph4t l3wts, it's about time I got some head:

Derakor's Head was the final quest item Dinamas needed to complete the Plane of Growth Quest that resulted in these Gloves de Ownage:

WTF? No Halflings?

So, now that I talked a bunch of smack, it's time for reality check.  Or maybe I should call it ego check.  What do you do when the Vindicator is dead?  you go for the Statue of Rallos Zek of course.

Statue-tory Rape

Well, shit.  The Statue gave us some serious beat down.  That sum-beeotch has a TON of hitpoints.  Unfortunately, we pulled him late in the evening.  We had lost many tanks and clerics at that point.  All around we were short-handed but wanted to test the waters so to speak.  The Statue is going to be a great fight.  Wonder if he will be one of the *adjusted* mobs after the Donal's nerf kicks in.  Our money is on VI not touching any mobs.  If anything, seems like VI only makes mobs tougher.  Whaetever.  Keeeeel or be Keeeeled. . .that's what EQ is all about.  We're ready for whatever they throw at us.

See each time we get creamed, it's a learning experience.  We're quick on our toes. . .each moment, we craft strategies, bouncing ideas around like an ongoing brainstorm.  Check it out:

Oh yes, earlier today we keeeled this foolman lizard:

Ozus needed a staff. . . .

That Venril keeel is dedicated to Wendolyn on MM.  Wendy how many DKNY points (or whatever) would it cost to have SK and Pally legs in your bank?  Sigh, like I said, Ozus needed a staff :(

Quote of the Day