How Do You Own the High Priest?

One Part Malone, One Part Capone and Two Parts Stallone.  End result?

The High Priest had to die.  We were goddamned sick and tired of seeing him up on track.  Although we have killed the High Priest before, we were having some trouble dealing with the new, insane respawn High Priest.  But tonight we came up with the new plan.  Off to the Batphone I went and the Commisioner quickly rounded up all the help we'd ever need to kill the High Priest: Karl Malone, Al Capone, Sly Stallone and of course, the true hero of the evening, Frank Stallone.  Before we knew it there was nothing but a corpse left of the cacksugging snake that had been plaguing us.

In all seriousness though, I want to give major props to everyone for the absolutely kick ass night of raiding.  The planning and execution of the kill was near perfect.  I want to give a special thanks to Adorean Lew, human wizard and master of arcane teleportation (a.k.a. port bitch).  While our strategies are a collective effort from everyone in the guild, Adorean really helped me keep this raid moving.  But everyone there deserves credit for performing so well.  We zoned in, cleared our way up and killed the HP, simple as that.  Oh, and I guess I should note that we came straight from Kael too.  Of course our buddy the AoW had to die.  No matter how many times I fight that mob it's still a rush.  Of course his loot makes it rather nice to watch him die often as well ;)

Ok, this update is already a mess of wishy-washy bullshit.  I can't pass the Bar everyday -- yeah, even I run low on material.  Every once and a while you just have to stop and appreciate the phat kills.  Arch Lich, Burrower, AoW, Shei, and High Priest. . .all on first attempts -- not such a bad post-patch hit list ;)  Did I mention how great these mo fakas in my guild are?  Now give me some goddamn recipes and I'll post you some new corpses to look at.

Stalkers, Wanna-be's and Unoriginal Bastards

Double Header

The Burrower stares in awe at *The Pants* while the Shei simply keeled over at the very sight. . .

Parv Vardt, Halfling Hero, was the first to discover the coveted Proudfoot Greaves quest, sending a ripple of controversy and dismay throughout the Everquest Community.  Ever since unveiling "The Pants", Parv has been overwhelmed with accusations of "insider info" and other shadey behavior.  After all, how could Parv have acquired the godly Jesus-like item of the trousers-community such as "The Pants" well before anyone else was even close to having so much of a clue as to their existence.  Well, suck it up lovers, we've got Parv and Parv has "The Pants" so you are all forced to live in your second-class existence of pantslessness.  The quest for "The Pants" is so painstaking and grueling, so time consuming, so incredibly difficult and requires so much skill, we estimate you wont see another Halfling warlord wearing these pants for at least 9 years.  Cry nerf if you will, but until we see that <SYSTEMWIDE MESSAGE> you can bet your sweet ass we'll be sploiting the power of "The Pants" as hard as it can be sploited.

First came the Burrower Cacksugger.  Our first tank up on the Burrower was Bzul who seemed to instantly go Linkdead.  Normally, as I've instructed my guild, when someone goes Linkdead we all /q, succor, evac, gate, train the zone or Ebay our characters.  However, inspired by the shining golden brilliance of "The Pants" Parv jumped in and one-tanked the Burrower to it's death.  As the luck of "The Pants" would have it, the loot was pretty fuggin phat:

Now that's what we like to see here on The Nameless.  Well, that and boobies.  After the Burrower died, we went to Ahkeva to work on our Vex Thal faction because we are so damned close to completing our keys all we need is faction.  And for the zone to exist.  And for the zone to have mobs.  And for the zone to have loot.  And for there to be a key.  And for there to be a key quest.  But besides that and our faction, we're ALMOST ready to zone in.  By the way, if any of you hurmorless jackasses goes and posts a moronic VT thread in my forums I'm not only going to ban you.  So anyway, as we were hard at work on our VT keys, we decided to kill Shei Mallown.  The Shei is what we call, in strictly technical terms, a tremendous pillowbiting poooosae.  The fight was all fine and dandy until we hit a small "Dumbass Speedbump" and lost like 3 people to enrage. . .Anyone who knows how the Shei works, knows that when someone dies to him, a mob spawns.  So you can imagine what it's like when the Jackass Factor gets the best of us, and people forget to press A when those big red letters E-N-R-A-G-E-D show up on the screen.  Our biggest fear was that Abru, our lone LoS druid, would be killed. . .:

In another news I would like to take a moment to talk about my personal life.  Today was a very special day for me.  In the mail this afternoon, I recieved notice that I had passed the State Bar of Arizona.  Along with a very official letter from the State I was happy to get my State Bar of Arizona Identification card, with my name printed on it and my official Bar number.  I would like to thank everyone who supported me all those years, the folks who had faith in me and helped me achieve this moment of greatness.  Perhaps the thing that makes this truly special (besides the fact that my life as I know it will from this day forth be changed, forever devoted to the Law of the blessed state of Arizona) is the fact that I never took the bar.  Nor have I ever lived in Arizona.  But I would like to thank the State Bar of Arizona for this fantastic vote of confidence in my legal skills.  I eagerly await my first trial and if any of you, my friends, should ever need legal representation in the courts of Arizona, rest assured that I, Tigole Bitties, have been deemed a worthy advisor for all your legal woes.  God bless the court systems and god bless our Government.  And no, I shit you not, this is 100 percent true -- somehow the jackasses of the State Bar of Arizona passed me, despite the fact I never took a test, don't live in Arizona, never applied and simply was fortunate enough to have the same name as some dumbass searching the back of his mailbox right now wondering if he passed or not.  Life is grand sometimes.  Maybe I'll move to Tuscon and try to legalize marijauna.

Stalkers, Wanna-be's and Unoriginal Bastards

Quote of the Day

And On The Tenth Day I Updated the Goddamned Website

Arch Lich Version 6.792 gets Karl Mallowned

Hrm, where to start.  Let's see. . .just about 1 out of 10 tells I get now says something about updating the site, I get emails telling me to update the site, the guild is busting my balls to update the site, even goddamned Rhap, that little bitch, is on my case:

So here it is!  The update!  Tonight we went for the newest version of Mr. Arch Lich.  In spite of knowing his loot table -- most of which sucks a phat cack with one or two Vulak-esque items thrown in -- we wanted to beat him.  We want to beat everything.  And if they keep changing things, or making them harder, we must kill them.  So this guy is a freakin BEAST now.  It's hilarious how up and down this mob has been since the release of SoL (the funniest being that week where slow could not be dispelled -- gg VI).  Now I would rate him up as one of the more difficult *straight up* fights there are in EQ.  In any event, the guild kicked major ass tonight.  We could have farmed a dozen easy Velious mobs but instead we opted to work on Seru keys and kill the latest version of Mr. Snake as seen above.

Speaking of Seru, I can't believe the freakin insanity caused by FoH's killing of that one mob.  People have been acting crazy about EQ, serious pyscho bullshit.  Folks keep asking my opinion on the whole thing.  Well, here's my opinion:  Props to them but I don't have a recipe for a Seru-bane weapon so I could give a fuck beyond that.  Do we have Seru keys?  Yes.  Do we have Earrings?  Yes.  Do we have Seru weaps?  No goddamnit.  Leave me alone.  Don't come asking me for the recipe.  We didn't magically *stumble* upon the recipe, so guess who's SoL in SoL?  We would have loved to be among the first to kill Seru -- but we weren't.  The truth is, from what Furor posted, it sounds like the whole encounter is amazingly fucked up beyond recognition.  Let someone else Beta Test it.  What it all comes down to is you just have to be satisfied with what YOUR guild is doing on YOUR server.  Be happy for others when they do great things -- like killing Seru.  And chill the fuck out and quit acting psychotic over a video game.  If you're name isn't Furor and you're not the one on the Bard-speed horse with the phatty earring  and the Seru kill shot on your hardrive, I suggest focusing on your own goddamn goals and leaving FoH, Furor, and sure as fuck ME alone about the whole deal.

Aaaaaah. . .now that I got that off my chest. . .I'll share some of the stuff we did recently between ub9r raids that I like to call Guild Ego Boosters!  Among these would include the midnight Velketor pull to the zone!

We killed the entire dungeon, then ressed them and gave them the loot.  I don't *think* there are any warnings on my account from that one. . .

Lately, when bored, we go and clear VP.  We can now do it in two hours.  Before our last trip to VP someone asked, "Do we have enough clerics for VP?"  The response was, "Who needs clerics for VP?"

Ok I better stop rambling because I have so much useless bullshit to end this update with.  Here comes the end of the update yada yada. . .

Viewer Art!

This guy didn't include his Character name in the email and I won't post his RL info, so, this week's Viewer Art comes from Anonymous!

The Wonderful World of Rhap

Working as Intended

Mudflation baby. . .

AC cap. . .hi, useless stat.

Stalkers, Wanna-be's and Unoriginal Bastards

This is truly an epic edition of Stalkers, Wanna-be's and Unoriginal Freaks folks. . .enjoy!

A Special Goodbye. . .

Just wanted to say goodbye and thank you to GM Vinshayr on behalf of Legacy of Steel.  Vin was a great GM for The Nameless and we were truly lucky to have him.  We'll miss you, gnome -- best of luck to you and thanks for making the game the better.

Quotes of the Day